Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
