why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize