I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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