Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
