i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
