I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Farmville is her only friend.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize