you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
