she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
