Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
why is half of my head shaved?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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