Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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