i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
