Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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