Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This is the high leading the old right now
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
