Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
