Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
