I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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