I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
