It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
