yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
