that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
