At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize