her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize