Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
