It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
