I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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