so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
