my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I party with great urgency now.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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