So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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