let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
