if i can run in heels then i can drive
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
