roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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