just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
