im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
