filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
