with your own penis?
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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