He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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