is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
