But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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