I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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