No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I think I just sharted jello shots
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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