Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize
