when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
