This is not my ceiling
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
