So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize