he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
