Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The uberlube is also flammable
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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