I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
