You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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