I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I see more hoeing in ur future
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
