oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize