Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So vagazzling was a success
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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