yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
