do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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