can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
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