so explain again why im purple
no
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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