so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
