hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
