flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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