You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
