i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
