someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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