look no pants
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't want my vagina anymore.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
