yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
These tits shall not be calmed
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
