onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
