Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
