maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
