He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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