They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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