it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
