only you would photoshop your dick
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize