I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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